Lady of the moment

Currently I love love Demi Lavato.
Make fun of me alllll you want, but this girls got a real story and hold the bullshit.

pink tips!

Demi has really broken out of her disney candy coating and entered into the real world.
Well as real as hollywood gets...

Last year Demi entered a rehab facility for some eating issues and found out she was bipolar! Oh Hai gurlL
Now, Demi is living the life of recovery. 


OmGeE ME TOO! 

But her mental health has not held her back, in my opinion. If anything it's given her some real, honest things to deal with.

Her music may be cheesy pop, but who reads this and doesn't love cheesy pop?!

Obsessions of the Month

For the month of June

new summer means new music.
For the June playlist this summer, my favorites would have to bee:
number uno-

The Lumineers, who I'm actually going to see in July at the XPN music festival with my br0s, @reetzthepeetz and @carlystains
w00
this song is actually getting a lot of recognition now. I heard it played on American Idol as well as a commercial on the televisi0n.
I mean it's super catchy and just lovely

and my second obsession for the month of June would have to be--

The new Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros album, Here.


Love love love anything by them and this new shit is totally up to par.
Who doesn't love a 12 piece hippie band?

Heh

Social situations

I'm not new to sobriety. 
I tried it out before and I didn't like it.

Now, I see that it's incredibly important to my life.

All alcohol has brought to me is negativity. Which is why I need to stay away from it. I get that. 
Some people just can not drink. It's part of their make up, my make up.
Acceptance is not so much difficult for me, more so scary.

I miss making friends.
I told my friend, @simplemeghan, the other day, "the thing is... I'm really weird."
"That's a weird thing to say about yourself, Gab."

I'm not really good at making friends, sober- Drunk, it comes natural.

Social situations, sober, kinda freak me out. 
I over think, like a lot.

I don't think I'll know what to say. I think people judge me, because I judge others pretty harshly. It's not something I do on purpose. I just do.

I use to go to parties and know everyone by the end. Now, I just don't really go out, like at all.

I'm also not in my comfort zone anymore. I miss my Burlington.
I knew a lot of people, and met new people all the time.

Now, I just don't know what to do.

Will I ever get to go out again? With who?
Do I even want to?

Being in recovery is an everyday process. I long for tomorrow.
For all of this to be over, to go back to sleep.

Zombies, for realsies...

A huge fear of mine is zombies. This is probably due to the fact that one day I watched all of season 1 of The Walking Dead and was slightly traumatized. Not a highly recommended idea...

I've blogged about the end of the world come 2012 a lot, and about the zombie apocalypse, little did I know, zombies were actually soon to come.

If your concerned about the walking dead, I'm sure you've already heard what I'm about to tell you...

Down south, around Florida and Louisiana, zombies have begun to walk among us!

This new drug called "bath salts" (similar to LSD, also described as an over the counter Ecstasy) is causing some real issues.
It started with a man eating another mans face off, and then another man was seen growling and it took several shots to shoot him down.

Here's the vid

I'm a litttle bit concerned right about now.

Gab

I think I was named Gab for a real reason.
I love to Gab, to chitter chat.

However, these days I feel like I can't talk anymore.

It's like I don't know how to have conversations. Which is difficult for me. Many people know me as a person who can't shut up. These days, it's like I can't open up.


I haven't had a conversation in a while. Which is weird, really weird.






I miss a lot of things. And I don't know what the fuck I want.
Where I want to be, who I want to be...










I can't even write somedays.

One day at a time, is a hard concept for me. All I do is think about the future, or the past.


Weed use to bring me insight. Now I'm looking for myself for that insight.

But I'm feeling a little bit hopeless, loveless, and nothingness.

Find what makes you happy.
I'll work on that I guess.

Writers BLOCK

Not knowing what you want can really effect your writing. Or it can inspire it.

I haven't really known what to write about these past couple of days. I also don't really know what I want in general.

Stand Still. 

I don't feel empty so much anymore, but I don't really feel my purpose yet either. 

There's a series of steps to recovery. Which I'm going through.

1. moved home.
2. license renewed.
3. found a job. Makin the money.
4. Breathe.
5. find what's next...I guess.

Any idears?

Town to City

I think what it comes down to, right now, is that I left my city roots long ago.
Quite frankly, I'm not sure I want them back.

It's not like I live in the heart of the city right now, but it's not like I can see a sunset as beautifully as I use to be able to.

Dealing with life, trying to figure things out, leaves me with this question:
Do I want the city life?
No. 

Do I have to deal with it right now? Yes. 

I don't know if I miss Burlington, my burlingtonites, or the sunsets.

I met my favorite of peoples in Burlington, VT. I also met myself.







I didn't want to be stuck in Burlington forever, but where am I to go next? That's the real question