Fall Visit

This weekend I was in the lovely and beautiful btv.
Which was great. I got to see good people, share great times and be in my favorite town.

It always hard going back to a place you use to call home. It's like being a guest at your parents house.

I did check out the bar scene, which at 22 is still new to me...

I wish I was still there and not in Philadelphia, honestly.
I know I had to leave Burlington for good, because of factors that are out of my control. I'm still dealing with that. One of the hardest parts of visiting is knowing I will probably never live in Burlington ever again. It's not a safe environment for me and would for sure make me go back to my old ways.
















Burlington will always be the same but things, and especially people, do change.
If you don't change your not growing. It's a part of life.

I wish I could put more into words how I feel about the whole situation but that's all I got.

Forever is an Awfully long time...

When I start to think about my life, I get overwhelmed.
One step at a time is key but that's not always at the forefront.

I think about drinking more than I wish I did on a daily basis.
Thinking that I'll never drink again is a really difficult concept for me.

It's not just the consuming alcohol I'm thinking about, it's the past, present and future.
I use to drink and make friends. Now, I don't drink and I haven't made many friends recently.

I still feel I'm in limbo land right now, and I'm digging my way out to new ground.

I don't always identify as an alcoholic, sometimes yes, but not always. I more see myself as having a medical condition that limits me and doesn't allow me to do everything I'd like.

I guess the key is what they all say.
One step at a time.

Next step?
See you this weekend my burly friends. :D

Fall Fresh

There's so many new, hot tracks out this season. Here's a few I can't stop listening to (mostly new, some not so new) :

Passion Pit- Take a Walk

Dave Matthews- Mercy
And the whole new album Away From the World

Mumford & Sons- I Will Wait
Check out the entire new album, Babel 

Cat Powers new album - Sun

\Who doesn't love Ne-yo?

Childish Gambino- Hearbeat

Baby Kreay, Diplo- Twerkin

The XX- Tides
And the rest of the new album Coexist 

Frank Ocean- Thinkin Bout You
Channel Orange, good stuff.

This one has been around a while, but I still really enjoy it. It feels fall-y to me.
Of Monsters and Men- Mountain Sound

Finally, my favorite fall song. Good bye summer.
The Mamas and Papas- California Dreamin

You may not know me, but you may be my boyfriend.

I think I'd have to attribute my weirdness, and more or less, awkwardness to my all-girl-school education. I heard your suppose to mature when your immersed in higher education, but  it's not like I acquired any social skills at Champlain College.

In fact, I think I got weirder.

One thing that has, thankfully, stuck with me is my way of being able to swoon, capture, and seduce the opposite sex. 

O wait- That sentence alone should let you know how much of a joke that is.

Really? Because I'm pretty sure a fake boyfriend doesn't know your real. 

I have many boyfriends, in my mind. In reality, not so much. 

I mean, am I alone in this?
I know for a fact that I'm not. Plenty of girls have fake boyfriends guys. So

The funny thing is, the boys I end up getting involved with, are never my pretend husbands.
The other funny thing is I have no boys in my life. Ever.
#foreveralone.

On another note, and on to someone even weirder then me, 

YO, YO, YO 

New Baby KREAY!~!~*

Boys may not DIG me, BUT I DO. #getit...

Chchanges

How can you not love fall? Just the smell alone is enough.

I'm ready to go pick out my pumpkins now, but I have a feeling they will have rotted by Halloween if I do, considering it's September 15th...

Green, pink, purple, to orange, yellow, brown.
Fall is the time of change. For nature and humans too.
Freshman are welcomed to a new world, wether it be high school, college, or real life. September is the mark of the new year ,just as much as January.
It also means the end. like the end, end. No denying it people Summer is over. 
It's totally ok though. I'm sure you've all had a hot couple of months and now it's time for the cool down.

Big chunky sweaters are popping up in all the consignment shops and and flip flops have turned into uggs.










Foliage is like the best thing ever.

Speaking of sweaters, I'm in the market. (as always) And I'm dearly missing my beloved @downtownthreads.

I need to find a new hip, edgy, sweater-full consignment/thrift store in philly. Anyone? anyone?

Never Forget.

ufgh

I'm starting to really miss the parties.

How at the age of 22 do you really know if you have a drinking problem?
Is it blacking out? Because I can't name five of my colleges friends who I haven't seen in a blackout. Is it withdraw? Because I never experienced that. Is it drinking daily? Because last year, when I lived on my own the only thing I did daily was smoke pot, and even that was to the point of nonfunctional.
So how do you know?








I guess encountering the cops several times would be one example. Or getting into fights with friends. Or maybe being hospitalized...











Regardless, I am where I am.


And I'm slowly rebuilding, slowly the key word.