Drugs, Friends, Food

I went to #btv this weekend, always quite a trippp man....
but no I did not trip. I did take a trip yes, to burlington but no drugs for me, although they were, as always, everywhere.

Burlington really is a drug friendly city. Good drugs, clean drugs, dirty drugs, mild, hard, they're all there. I'm sure you can find a mutlitude of drugs in any city and maybe it's just the people I know... but I just always encounter drugs in this city.
Even when I first visited Champlain college with my mom the smell of pot was evident. Sometimes whole streets in Burlington reek of pot.

Burlington is obviously a trigger for me. The people I don't want to see, the houses I use to get fucked up in, the drama, the drugs...
I am at a point now, though, where that stuff doesn't matter. I am really happy with life and I don't want to get fucked up. Don't get me wrong the smell of sweet mary jane is so enticing but I know what I have to lose and that I have very little to gain with that stuff.

It is nice to be in VT and see old sights. Old places I loved, like My Little Cupcake, and people that have helped me be a better person.

Although people are constantly fucked up in Burlington they still manage to be cool humans, most of the time...
Every time I go to burlington there are at least three people that give me props and tell me they admire me for my sobriety and what I'm doing, which is really cool in my eyes.

I don't know how many times I will go back to Burlington, VT. The number is definitely limited. There's not much left for me there.
It's an interesting vibe this last visit.

People are either still in college- about to enter the real world, lingering in burlington after college, or have entered the real world in Burlington. Some people love where they are at, emotionally and physically, and others absolutely hate it.

I am really glad I got out of Burlington. I'm glad I don't pine for it anymore. It's good to miss it because I really had something to miss but it's fading now, it's not the same.

I will say though, I am extremely proud of my best friends in Burlington. They are doing amazing things. From putting on music festivals, start up business projects, to landing jobs and being dedicated and working hard to finish school. I am so happy to have them in my life and love that they are doing amazing things with theirs.

I am happy to be in Philly. I am happy to have a life I care about building and making better. I am happy to have friends, and that I am constantly making new ones.


Life is good for now. And I'm really happy about that.

I will say, I did a lot of eating this weekend, and everything was delicious. NOT JUST CUPCAKES, but mostly the cupcakes.

Time to Let Go.

Soaoao...

It takes me a really long time to get over things. I can't help it. I hold on to shit and don't let go.
There is this one particular person that it has taken me a really long time to get over.

One day I had this moment where I thought I was just over it... then a week later I wasn't.
I mean it's not like I didn't move on, I just wasn't fully over it.
Now, I really don't care. 

For a long time I envisioned the timing being right between me and this guy and it being magical and perfect. I don't want that anymore.

I was always scared to confront my feelings about this situation, my friends would say that's total bullshit because I talked about him for a long time. I heard a girl say the other day that she was in love with a guy that didn't love her back. I don't want to feel that way, and I don't think I ever had time to love this person. I just thought about the sort-of relationship for a long time, over thought it- over analyzed. And maybe I was a crazy girl about it, I don't think I was. But I did refuse to let go.

Now, I can happily say I would never want to get back with this guy ever.
Not only saying that, but really feeling that way, opens so many doors. It's like a huge wait off my shoulders actually letting go.

Time to let go. 

If you see my driving around town you will likely hear me singing this song at the top of my lungs:

I just freaking love Miss Lovato. Her latest album is like my crack. I  JUST LOVE GIRL POP MUSIC. Demi helps me to be the Warrior I strive for.

I'd also like to mention Miley Cyrus' new video because it's simply out of control. I mean it's like FuckYab summed up in a music video. I hate Miley Cyrus but this video is so fucking cool.