The 8 Rules of Dating: How to avoid a Fuck Boy.

A few short years ago I had never been on a date. Then I made a decision to step into the world of dating.

In short, I made the worst decision of my life. Lol jk. However, I have learned and created some important rules that I follow when it comes to dating.
I made a list of dating rules and advice from my friends over a year ago.

No really you should learn from my mistakes... 

But as we get older we, hopefully, get wiser and with that comes more advice. This is your revised dating rules.
Since you all love my relationship posts, hopefully this will be a hit for you.
Reading over that past post I wrote it is interesting to see how different my head space was before I knew the harsh cruel reality that the dating world really is.

And honestly, in 2016 it's a whole new game. It's hard to get advice from our parents because their playing field was really different. Even a couple of years ago tinder was NOT what it is now. It's an ever changing landscape at this point. And honestly, it's exhausting. Like eye roll exhaustion...

 I am not as bright eyed as bushy tailed as I was when I was like, "Yeah let's try out dating!" Now, as I cruise through bumble most of myself talk is, "You look like an asshole/fuck boy...annd it's a match. You will never commit, you will commit but you're profile picture with your mom is fucking weird...."
I have become a cold hearted bitch when it comes to dating but like any masochist I still do it. And yes of course it's still fun at some points.
No, but on the real, as a strong independent woman, this is all just fun!
Don't put a man in front of yourself and your dreams and goals honey. Go out there and make woman history, men will come and go, but you are beautiful and will do great things on your own no matter what.


With that being said, these are my rules, feel free to adapt at your own leisure-

I know you're excited. 

(disclaimer: if you don't agree with my list of rules I am totally not offended and I don't care. Whatever works for you works. This is not elite daily where I am trying to convince you I am completely right when I am totally off base. This is a completely biased post *news flash: the whole blog is* but if you don't agree feel free to utilize the internet to give your advice. This is simply what has worked for me.)

Rule 1.
Don't prioritize the boy. Having done time after time, I have finally learned my lesson. HELLO GAB?! OBVI. Boy or not, whatever you put before yourself, you lose first.
Unless he is literally Prince Charming and has cordially invited you to the ball, there is a slight probability of a chance he will bail. In whatever sense of the word, ie. had something else planned the same time, forgot you had makeshift plans, schedule something else he finds more important, never text you again, or just straight up cancels.
I don't care if you are Meghan Fox, if you are deep in the dating world there will be times you will get cancelled on. So make plans with yourself first and don't be afraid to say "no I'm busy."

2. And you know what, you don't have to be so readily available. If a guy ask you to go out and you have something say, "sorry I have plans, maybe a different day?" That's actually a rule. Don't say yes to the first time he asks you out. You don't have to say no, but like bonus point if you do.
Seriously, no matter how badly you'd like to say yes to his offer to go out for a drink/date the first time he asks, you always play the busy card- but you, "would LOVE to get together next week!"
He needs to view the life you lead as exciting and busy. You don't want to be the girl that waits all day at home waiting for his call- ew, seriously don't even do that IRL.

2. don't make it more dramatic or built up in your head than it needs to be.

If he cancels or you never hear from him again? Screw him. There's like 6 dating apps you could potentially pull together a date for tomorrow from. He's not worth worrying about and clearly it wasn't meant to be. And to be honest it's good you find out before getting emotionally attached.

and to add to that...


3. Don't be needy out of the gate. If he- within reason- needs to reschedule, don't let it seem like it bothers you. If you're one of those girls who's like "I show my crazy from day 1..." I wish you well my friend- but I have tried that cars and it doesn't work for me. Just try to pretend your a little chill, even if you have no chill.

Even if you already have your blow out, your nails done and your peach waxed. Make other plans with your friends and say "no worries!" And fucking mean it.
There is nothing worse than seeming like a stuck up bitch from the gecko.

Speaking of waxed peaches...

4. Ladies- it's so true. Pussy is power.
The longer you can hold out, the longer they are kept around! It's that simple. Biologically, since the cave men days, men are the hunters. Don't let them get it right away or they have nothing to chase.
But like if you're not trying to have him stick around and you need to get laid, do it- and quite frankly then you don't have to hear from him again. We have needs too, fucking duh.
Speaking of sex..

5. So if you're reading this and you're like "Omg Gab this is so not politically correct, it's 2016 women and men have equal rights!" again, fucking duh. But I am just giving you MY dating rules, ok dude? so chill.
I will say this however-- when a woman has sex she has legit chemicals that are released into her brain that make her like super emotionally attached to the guy. Don't believe me fucking read this shit. Men on the other hand are fucking pigs.


6. Ok last thing. Stroke his goddamn ego. *This is the hardest one for me considering I hate most men* But compliment him until you want to gag, without being annoying-- thin line. And if you are on a date, even though he will try to be inquisitive; ask all the questions you can. Because it A. makes you seem hella interested in him and B. like legitimately takes your lust and wonder out of the situation to realize if this is a normal human worthy of any more of your time.

7. Ew and I guess I should include this,
Beeee niiicee Gabbb. It's hard for me to be nice on a daily basis let alone a date.

But like this is my biggest flaw and where I need to learn to soften up, hopefully living in Colorado will teach me the skill of not being an uptight bitch with the sass of an over grown cougar, but only time will tell.

8. Positive things happen to positive people, and positive energy attracts other positive energy, just like water seeks it's own level. When you look at a glass of water, half of the water is not at the bottom and the other half is at the top- it's all in the same spot. Whether the glass is half full or empty- it's all fucking relative. 

It's the law of attraction and something I have been aware of forever but am just starting to truly understand. If I am an asshole all the time and a fucking Debbie Downer, trying to pull people down (which I tend to be sometimes) positive people are naturally repelled by me because they don't want to be weighed down by me. Thus never inviting a positive male into my life up until this point. So positive vibes y'all (even though it's fuckin kill me) 

Well that's it. 8 simple rules for dating my 20something self. 

I have had quite an odd mix of dating experiences. And at the beginning of this post I said that entering the dating world has been the worst decision of my life- y'all I was totally kidding. Dating has been a fucking blast. 

There is this moment before I go on dates where I am so nervous I feel like I am going to die (because I have extreme anxiety) but it is in this moment I feel so fucking alive. I can't worry about anything else except what is about to happen in the next couple of seconds and it does literally feel like I can not take anything else but then you know what? I meet the guy and I just have a date, the anxiety subsides and I am back on my two feet. 

We can't run from these moments or suppress them with technology. I am so happy to be living the life I live and quite, frankly, single and ready to mingle! 

But I will say, we live in a generation where fuccbois run ramped and we can't let white rich males take over everything, including our love lives. Literally though, spot a fuck boy say no boy bai. Not worth any bit of your time.

Just remember you are a  kween and should be treated as such.

And if anyone fucks with you just walk away. The world is your oyster 20something females so go and get yours

And remember never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.