Broken Barbie.

It was brought to my attention yesterday, that the general public is not taking very kindly to the one, the only, Ms Lana Del Rey.

She's still my queen. 

So I would like to say a big Fuck You to all of the haters, spitting out the haterorade.

Npr's review, along with others, was not very pretty.
Anne Power's said "She's what most of us desire and despise, all in one. That's agitating..."
We'll ya... DUR. 
THATS WHY SHE'S SO GREAT. 













If you missed Lana Del Rey's SNL prefromance I would say don't watch it, but that's going to make all you assholes watch it anyway so here it is...

Ya it that was pretty bad...
It's questionably one of the worst performances in SNL history. SO WHAT. 

Here's my question:
Why the fuck was Lana Del Rey, queen of the hipsters, on Saturday Night Live...
Hello... she's so not mainstream.
She's not a fucking pop star.

She's a tragically beautiful, plastic, gorgeous face.
Her songs are eerie, not extremely well written, and sang through her fake-plump-lip pout.

Lana Del Rey: A drowning barbie doll. 

But 
She's an original. She's a real phony.
Literally she's not real. Lana Del Rey, is a persona. It's a state of mind versus an actual person.
It's more than just the music with this one. And for me that's a lot. That's real dedication.
So call Lana what you want. But she ain't on my shit list.


Lana Del Rey is a real life Holly Golightly.

Speaking of, 

I came across my copy of Breakfast At Tiffany's last week, and I can't stop watching it, yet again. 

I relate to Audrey's character so much in this film.

Wanting as much as she can get out of this world and not stopping for anyone.






I can't believe half of my friends have never seen this movie. GO FUCKING WATCH IT NOW.
I have a copy and if I like you, I will no problem let you borrow it.
You can't not watch this movie ladies. Especially if your tragically glamorous, in a world where only few understand your qualms.
Then this one is definitely for you.












Omg... did I mention that it's a love story... with a cat..



Sometimes people are fake. 
But if they don't care, then why do you?

No, I personally would never become a fake femme fatale, like Lana, and I'm not as delusional as Holly.
But can you really blame them?

Happy Monday

 

AND
It's like... practically February.
Dat shit cray.

In Retrospect

I just went through most of my high school pictures to try and find a good one of me looking extremely awkward.

And I have got to tell you, it wasn’t that easy.
I mean ya...
I had my fair share to choose from but at the same time, I didn’t look as bad as I remember.

Wanna see me in hikeschool? 
KAY

seni09rs

freshie.

juniors.

soph-o-more. selfies.

cutie babuh. 

love o my life. 

Heres one of my best friends I had a falling out with. I miss our antics. We were friends for so long for a reason. Today’s her birthday. Happy birthday babe!

I have this tendency, that when I look back on things, I either emphasis the good or the bad.

Ever since I was a kid they've been trying to figure out whats wrong with me. lol
The doctors and analysts always thought it was ADD but I’m now diagnosed as manic depressive.
The first time I received this diagnose I was close to 20 years old. Ya, that was easy...
I rejected the idea for several months. I was in what some call... DENIAL.

Won't cover up the stench of denial, Gabriella.

I thought that being normal was so important, for so long. For a little while there I was a rebel without a cause. How annoying...
Eventually I got it. One day it was like I finally saw what was going on. I read this book called Facing Bipolar. 
It's a guide book for young adults, and it's the first thing I could ever relate too.

Hearing that I was different was not so much surprising as it was difficult. And it makes me feel like a crazy person.
So sometimes I some smoke weed. And I drink. And I'm a normal 21 year old #livininthestruggle
Only I experience more than most. [aka you]
Almost all of the time.

Do not feel bad. Like at all. Ya I'm "different" but from who? Or what?
Everyone has their differences. Everybody's got their shit.
You can hide it, or you can deal with it and be upfront about life. For me it’s easier to deal.


And I mean come on... thinkkk about it.
My parents are divorced... always have been... and I basically have two separately unique lives.
Are we really that surprised I'm Manic Depressive...
No. 

HEY HOW ABOUT A MOVIE 
FOR DEALING WITH THINGS!
How to Deal, is one of my all time favorite movies.
Yes, it’s a Mandy moore flick.
No, I don’t give a fuck.

 I love her. And I love this movie.
And he's super dreamy.

If your going through shit and need help, this movie might help.
If not, again, he's super dreamy.

It Lies Within You.

story of my life.

I’ve never really had these problems before. 

I mean ya, duh, I have issues. But not... Boy trouble. #ughfuck.

I’ve been in pickles.

I’ve had to tell boys that love me that I just don’t feel the same way, I've had boys like me that I absolutely hate, I've loved boys that don't know I exist...

But I’ve never had boys to actually choose from before. You can call me coincided, and maybe I’ll lose all my ‘options’ if they read this... 

But I am not cocky, I am just stating the obvious.

In high school I wasn’t the happiest of people.

I didn’t exactly enjoy my all-girls-catholic education and more importantly I didn’t put myself out there. I definitly did not take advantage of my high school, but it's high school... 
At-least I made it out in one piece... We can be grateful for that, right Mom? Right. 


I wasn’t one of the pretty girls, with all the boys. 
Because I’m prettyyy sure I didn’t really start trying and putting myself out there until after high school. 

I do appreciate the education I recieved and the non-presence of boys, at the time. I can’t imagen how differently I would have turned out had I had to face even more immature boys, than the 20 somethings I’m dealing with now. 

I’ve always been one of the pretty girls but I didn’t utilize it until now. 
This was then...

*Note the uniform.

 This is now.

AGAIN IM NOT COCKY IM JUST STATIN THE OBVIOUS 

I’ve always been a dreamer and a wander. I still am, only now I feel like I’m pretty [and] in touch with reality. 

Im sorry if I, and this blog, annoy you. But there’s how many other things out there you could be reading on the internet?

One thing I’ve learned is that happiness is contagious. 

And maybe it’s blinding too. Shit, in my life, will eventually hit the fan again. 

But if I’m as happy with myself as I’m now and it does, I think I’ll be ok. 

I’m going home for the summer. Atleast part of it. 

I need a little break from the #btv, right now. So I guess I can wait until June. 

But honestly, when I think of not being here for the summer I get sooo upset. 

Last summer was amazing. 

BUI waiting to happen

I never ever ever thought I would be ok again with living at home BUT I will be.

I’m 21 now, I can drink with my fam and I can hang with my fam without killing them. 

After all my years of rebellion it will be nice to be able to live civilly in my own home, with my dogs. 

I will miss Burlington Summer Crew buttt it’s not like I won’t be here. I mean come on, you can take the girl out of Burly but you can’t take the beer out of her hand. 

I’ll be up to visit as often as I can! but I need to gain some more responsibility and more importantly... I neeed to save money. 

If I ever plan on living on my own permanently.

Now, lord knows my plans are never final. But I think this is the plan for now. We’ll see.  

"It doesn't matter what lies behind you, or ahead of you, it matter what lies within you." @almightypickle