Fall Visit

This weekend I was in the lovely and beautiful btv.
Which was great. I got to see good people, share great times and be in my favorite town.

It always hard going back to a place you use to call home. It's like being a guest at your parents house.

I did check out the bar scene, which at 22 is still new to me...

I wish I was still there and not in Philadelphia, honestly.
I know I had to leave Burlington for good, because of factors that are out of my control. I'm still dealing with that. One of the hardest parts of visiting is knowing I will probably never live in Burlington ever again. It's not a safe environment for me and would for sure make me go back to my old ways.
















Burlington will always be the same but things, and especially people, do change.
If you don't change your not growing. It's a part of life.

I wish I could put more into words how I feel about the whole situation but that's all I got.

Forever is an Awfully long time...

When I start to think about my life, I get overwhelmed.
One step at a time is key but that's not always at the forefront.

I think about drinking more than I wish I did on a daily basis.
Thinking that I'll never drink again is a really difficult concept for me.

It's not just the consuming alcohol I'm thinking about, it's the past, present and future.
I use to drink and make friends. Now, I don't drink and I haven't made many friends recently.

I still feel I'm in limbo land right now, and I'm digging my way out to new ground.

I don't always identify as an alcoholic, sometimes yes, but not always. I more see myself as having a medical condition that limits me and doesn't allow me to do everything I'd like.

I guess the key is what they all say.
One step at a time.

Next step?
See you this weekend my burly friends. :D