Fucking Crazy

The Oscars Sunday night were, quite simply, epic.
Argo, of course, took best picture. Anne fucking Hathaway won best supporting actress. There was a tie for something minor? Which hasn't happened since like the 60s.
And of course, I fucking love that Jennifer Lawrence won best actress. Who the fuck cares what else happened, over all she was the oscar winner.

Jennifer Lawerence is the definition of perfection. The backwards necklace! So elegant.

Lol. Fuck you anne. 

And her interview after winning was priceless.

Hollywoods new it girl's not going anywhere. 

So look out bitches, we have a winner. 

Besides the fact that I'm in love with Jennifer Lawrence, in general, I love that Silver Linings Playbook is getting the respect it deserves. 

It's about fucking time someone made a movie about real, crazy, mental, people. 

Having something wrong with you, mentally, should not have a stigma attached to it. It's out dated. Finding out that you have a mental disorder is becoming more and more brought to the forefront. Less people are finding what's wrong with them and it's awesome. 

Silver Linings Playbook really is doing a lot for people who are... well.. crazy. Nah jk. You know what I meaaannn.

I'm diagnosed bi-polar by some specialist- not all of them. There's a spectrum of bi-polar and I fit somewhere in there. Along with that diagnostic comes all my craziness. I was only told about three years ago that my brains different but I've never been normal. 

I have been on a terribly beautiful journey, these last couple of years, to discover myself. I've also been plauged by a label. The term bi-polar scares because of every rumor I have ever heard about the it.

Only through my personal path, have I discovered what the spectrum of bi-polar is and how I fit into that. 

If you get the chance to get to know me, well, you're lucky. Lucky, first off, that I've let you into my world. The moment you are welcomed into my inner circle it's hard to escape. I am a person who clings to other people to learn about myself. It is not easy for me to let people in after all that I've been through and I don't like people who break their way through the surface only to leave. 

I'm not writing a sob story but I'm trying to explain to you my kind of crazy. Everyone has their own journey and I'm in the middle of mine. I don't have time for people who are scared of "crazy". I accept myself and all that I've had to overcome. I expect a lot from other people. I like me and I like to surround myself with people that like me too, even if it's just a few. I can be extremely difficult because I'm extremely honest. I tell people what to do but I listen to others.

I don't think less of myself because there is something "wrong" with me mentally. 

I do think less of people who over look something like that. 

I have an amazing group of people who have helped get to where I am. Most of them are super fucked up in one way or another and I love that about them because they love me for who I am. 

Sorry that I've gone on about I, I, I, getting a little carried away.

I've just been talking it over with my dear friend @alishdurgin and when your crazy or weird, diagnosed or not, relationships can be difficult. Sometimes I do feel undateable or that I'll be rejected if I am upfront with everything about me. Which makes me just closed off. "I think I will only be happy if I'm with someone who is also a bit mentally unstable like me." Completely agree Durgin. 

That's why this movie is so great. One day, I will find someone who finds my kind of crazy perfect. Until then I'll just keep giving boys cupcakes.

All of the best people I know are weird and crazy.