In Retrospect

I just went through most of my high school pictures to try and find a good one of me looking extremely awkward.

And I have got to tell you, it wasn’t that easy.
I mean ya...
I had my fair share to choose from but at the same time, I didn’t look as bad as I remember.

Wanna see me in hikeschool? 
KAY

seni09rs

freshie.

juniors.

soph-o-more. selfies.

cutie babuh. 

love o my life. 

Heres one of my best friends I had a falling out with. I miss our antics. We were friends for so long for a reason. Today’s her birthday. Happy birthday babe!

I have this tendency, that when I look back on things, I either emphasis the good or the bad.

Ever since I was a kid they've been trying to figure out whats wrong with me. lol
The doctors and analysts always thought it was ADD but I’m now diagnosed as manic depressive.
The first time I received this diagnose I was close to 20 years old. Ya, that was easy...
I rejected the idea for several months. I was in what some call... DENIAL.

Won't cover up the stench of denial, Gabriella.

I thought that being normal was so important, for so long. For a little while there I was a rebel without a cause. How annoying...
Eventually I got it. One day it was like I finally saw what was going on. I read this book called Facing Bipolar. 
It's a guide book for young adults, and it's the first thing I could ever relate too.

Hearing that I was different was not so much surprising as it was difficult. And it makes me feel like a crazy person.
So sometimes I some smoke weed. And I drink. And I'm a normal 21 year old #livininthestruggle
Only I experience more than most. [aka you]
Almost all of the time.

Do not feel bad. Like at all. Ya I'm "different" but from who? Or what?
Everyone has their differences. Everybody's got their shit.
You can hide it, or you can deal with it and be upfront about life. For me it’s easier to deal.


And I mean come on... thinkkk about it.
My parents are divorced... always have been... and I basically have two separately unique lives.
Are we really that surprised I'm Manic Depressive...
No. 

HEY HOW ABOUT A MOVIE 
FOR DEALING WITH THINGS!
How to Deal, is one of my all time favorite movies.
Yes, it’s a Mandy moore flick.
No, I don’t give a fuck.

 I love her. And I love this movie.
And he's super dreamy.

If your going through shit and need help, this movie might help.
If not, again, he's super dreamy.